Currently Reading Under Cover: The Promise of Protection Under His Authority By John Bevere see related

You let it rain.

I have been thinking about the truth a lot the past few days. I've been asking myself, "what does it matter that I know the truth?"  It would appear that I have been living in fear of the truth.  Well tonight I have discovered a certain serenity in the truth.  I never fully understood John 8:32(The truth will set you free) until tonight.  Perhaps this verse was veiled to me, to be revealed at just this moment for just this purpose.  Its amazing to think that this is so, but even more amazing for me to contemplate the effect it is having on my life.  And I realized tonight that it is only by embracing this truth that I can be completely free.  The truth finally came out tonight.  Not that I didn't suspect it was there, or hadn't anticipated it, but it was finally revealed.  It wasn't anything major, but it was something that has been controlling me, even if I was only aware of it at the subconscious level.  But now God has poured His light on another dark area of my life, and revealed that this is not who I need to be, not who I was created to be.  It hurts, but I know I am being remade into His image, and its a beautiful thing!!

Currently Reading Balance Point (Star Wars: The New Jedi Order, Book 6) By Kathy Tyers see related

My life and hard times

Currently Reading Agents of Chaos II: Jedi Eclipse (Star Wars: The New Jedi Order, Book 5) By James Luceno see related

Victory over the sun

Well, I'm back from Dayspring!  And man do I have good news...I didn't get burned!  HAHA!  But it was pretty boring sitting inside all day.  Of course I had very little to do anyway, since my job was completed before I came to camp.  But I digress, camp was very different this year.  It was the second year I went without a church, but this year for different reasons.  I had been volunteering at New Cov, but left after a star wars book gave me a revelation about my involvement with the staff.  I noticed that I was being asked to take on more and more responsibility with the youth group.  I was beginning to be asked to do things that, in my opinion, only ministers, clergy, of full-time staff should do.  I wasn't bothered by these requests, I was more than capable to do them, but I was disturbed by one fact.  I was one of 7 staff members, the newest and only unpaid one at that, but I was being asked to do the more senior tasks.  I soon began to feel like I was belittling the other staff members, since none of them were being asked to share in my assignments.  I then realized that my constant willingness to do the things that no one else wanted to do was detrimental to their growth as church staff.  By my participation, I was allowing them to not do the things that needed to be done, thus they would not be developing the skill they would need to run a youth group.  I soon realized that my only option was to completely leave and allow them to grow unabated by me.  So my question now is:  Where do we drew the line between doing someone good by helping them, or bringing further harm on them?  Simply helping a person is good, but what if you are only increasing their dependence on other people?  I ask this question, cause I have seen people who have had their parents hold their hand through life, and as soon as they got out in the real world, they absolutely couldn't handle it.  Was I doing the same thing at New Cov?  And how do I draw that distinction?  I know that even the smallest ripples in a pond can soon turn into giant waves. 

Currently Listening A Collision By David Crowder Band see related

Ahh...the calm before the storm.  That's right next week is Dayspring!!  This time each year I get to go to Canyon camp and bring myself one step closer to melanoma.  But in all seriousness, I am really excited about camp this year.  For some reason it doesn't feel like a job, or obligation, but an experience that I get to share in.  Hopefully I don't get burned all week.

Anyway, I decided to go see Pirates of the Caribbean last night.  Good movie. I enjoyed it, mostly because Keira Knightly is smoking hot, but that's another story all together.  Anyway, I was sitting in the food court indulging myself in some bourbon chicken, when I was approached by a kid.  He looked at me and asked, "Aren't you a youth minister?"  To which I replied, "No, not me."  After a few questions, I discovered that he knew me from Servant and Dayspring.  After he departed, I couldn't get his question out of my head.  For some reason I felt that there was more to it than a simple question from a kid who saw a familiar face.  I began to wonder if somehow God was trying to stress a point.  Before long the question began to take a sarcastic tone, like a father nagging his son to fill out his college applications.  It was almost if God was saying, "How long have you wanted to be a youth minister?  Aren't you one yet?"  Even as I play the question over in my head, I can still feel the convicting tones that would imply that I have missed something along the way.  I can only hope that as I spend the next week with the youth of Dayspring, I can get a better grasp on what it is that God is calling me into.

Currently Reading Convergence: Spiritual Journeys of a Charismatic Calvinist By Sam Storms see related

Dont worry, Im still alive!

     Anyway, my life has been good recently.   Work has been great, I started bartending, so I no longer have to work every night, which opens up a night for me to get involved in a house church!  Which is nice, because my roommate Andy is about to start leading one in our house.  It is always nice to have a combination of feeding and being fed, which is defiantly what I need right now.  I have spent so much time working with the youth at New Cov. that I have spent very little time having someone pour into me(since Matt left HGM).  I am really excited about the new relationships that God is placing in my live and the places He is leading me.